DAY 2: Saturday, 1/4
We bounded out of bed and went down the road to Jumbie Beach. Some nice family happened to be packing up as we arrived, and they gave us the best spot on the beach -- directly off to the right of the path entrance. This was Maria's first time snorkeling, an event that she would later call "#$%&@ awesome."
From there we drove over to Skinny Legs , an excellent outdoor bar and grill. Then it was off to Vie's Beach on the East end of the island. Her rates have gone up! It's $3.00 a pop for beach access. But believe me, if you're looking for a gorgeous secluded beach with damn good snorkelin', this is the spot.
All that lounging about worked up quite a thirst. It was time to see if the famous Miss Lucy's was as good as it's reputation. It was too early for dinner, so we just grabbed an apres-sun Mango smoothie concoction. Yum!!! The waiter, as it turns out, used to work at the Dirty Dancing lodge! Remember Patrick Swayze's line - "Nobody puts Baby in a corner!" A bit eccentric, this fella's current lodgings consist of a lean-to on the nearby beach. But you couldn't argue with his logic: "My commute is a five minute walk down a gorgeous beach." We also made a point of saying hello to Guy Walsh, a friend of Jack Warner. Nice fella! We liked it here so much that we made plans to return for Sunday brunch...
This was to be our first night dining out, so we played it safe and chose Morgan's Mango . It's an obvious tourist spot, but the conch fritters were delicious and the service was fast.
Slept like a log that night, until around 2:30AM when it began pouring cats, dogs and termites. Our theory is that the powerful raindrops disturbed the termite nests in the forests; the following morning there were water-logged termites everywhere - pretty gross!

DAY 3: Sunday, 1/5
Jumped out of bed early and sped back to Miss Lucy's. Their Sunday brunch doesn't start until 10:00, but we wanted assurance that we could get a good seat outdoors. The early start paid off, as we got great seats in the shade overlooking the water. The food was awesome - Pina Colada and Banana Pancakes, fresh-squeezed OJ, and frothy java. A two-man jazz band showed up around 10:30, and played beautifully.
Feeling that some semblance of exercise was in order, we headed over to Salt Pond Bay for a hike. Our goal was to make it all the way to the Ram's Head cliffs (where according to legend, several hundred slaves jumped to their deaths in 1733! I found this page that gives a good overview of St. John history). The view from there is supposed to be amazing. However, we quickly learned that this trek is not for the faint of heart. Or the empty of water bottle. About 1/2 way there we felt a bit woozy in the noon sun. So, we opted to put this one on the to-do list for next year.
After a quick stop to chug a few gallons of Powerade, we drove over to the Anaberg Ruins to do some historical stuff. The sugar mill ruins are very cool - be sure to check out the pictures we took. From there we took the Leinster Bay Trail all the way to WaterLemon Bay ("are we almost theeeeeeeere????") for some snorkeling. Maria took a snoozy on the beach while I geared up to take the plunge and saw... A BIG SEA-TURTLE!!! Just about twenty feet offshore he was just chillin' out and eating grass. I followed him around for a good 20 minutes. Now I can't confirm this, but accoring to Maria the other people on the beach saw a dolphin! I assumed that the crowd gathering on the beach was admiring my powerful breast stroke. But no, they were looking at a dolphin. I doubt this was the "Flipper" variety - more likely it was the sport-fish variety, shown here .
Decided to head back to Cruz Bay for a snack, so we stopped at Margarita's for some Mexican. This was probably the only unpleasant dining experience we had. The nachos had some weird stringy carrot thing going on. They kind of looked like worms. We ordered a Mango Margarita, but I think they brought us guava. To top things off, it was damn pricey. Oh well.
Back to Cinnamon Bay to clean up and rest for a while, and then out to dinner back at Skinny Legs! I know we're boring, but we liked it there! A sizeable crowd had gathered to catch the end of the Giant's game on the big-screen TV. Great finish, even if the refs blew that interference call! This was to be my first "Cheeseburger in Paradise" of several. How trite! How delicious!

DAY 4: Monday, 1/6
We definitely wanted to get an early start today to be the first on Jumbie Beach. Again, the early birds (us) got the good spot on the beach - immediately to the right of the entrance. Five minutes later, people started arriving in droves - and each time they would peer anxiously in our direction when they emerged from the wooded entrance. The secret is out on our spot! A smug high-five was in order. Some wonderful snorkeling followed, although it was here that I got my first case of Sinus Squeeze . I can equalize the ears but not the sinuses! When I dove down for a closer look at a sea fan, all of the sudden it felt like my cheek was going to implode.
Back to Cinnamon to clean up, and then to Cruz Bay for some more shopping and stuff. Dinner at the Banana Deck . Our waiter was a young buck straight outta high school. Get a load of this setup: He lives on the island with some buddies in a house owned by a friend of the family. During the day he works at a dive shop; he spends all day SCUBA diving. Then at night he works at the Deck for some extra cash. I want his life!!!! Apparently he's just killing some time before college. Ahh, youth is wasted on the young... We also met a fella there from Wilton, CT. What a small world. He also had a good story: About seven years ago he became sick of the New England cold. So he dropped everything, caught a flight to St. John, became a cook, and hasn't looked back since!

DAY 5: Tuesday, 1/7
A total beach day was in order. We set off to Caneel Bay to search for the legendary Honeymoon Beach. Caneel Bay is worth mentioning. It's gorgeous, and if you favor the pampered kind of vacation (and have lots of dough) - check it out. Personally I wouldn't go there though - blah pampering. We found the trail that led to the beaches and kept going... and going... and going... through the woods. Here's the thing with Honeymoon Beach: en route you will pass Salomon Beach, the only "clothing optional" beach on St. John. But the signs were misleading, and we got sick of walking. So we took a rocky path down to what we thought was Honeymoon. However it quickly became apparent that we had strayed off course. There were boobs and hineys on display! But it needs to be said here and now - guys should not wear g-string bathing suits - PERIOD! But this beach was spectacular - hidden away, plenty of shade, and awesome snorkeling. At one point we were so engulfed in schools of fish, we felt like we had fallen into an aquarium at a Chinese restaurant.
Sadly, this beach started to fill up a bit. We decided to head back to Cinnamon Bay Beach. All things considered, Cinnamon Bay became our favorite beach. It's huge - even if it fills up, there's plenty of room and more-than adequate shade. It's gorgeous - flanked by palms and cool looking driftwood-like trees. Plus, the waves sometimes get big enough for body-surfing!
Dinner that night at Island Blues. This is another outdoor bar/grill with a great view. The food was quite passable, and we had a good time. Plus, we met a really cool cat named Taco. He keeps watch over the door. If you ever dine at Island Blues, we highly recommend the guitar-shaped Elvis Cake for dessert. And make sure you say "Thank ya... thank ya vera muuuuch" to your waiter.

DAY 6: Wednesday, 1/8
Chartered a boat for half a day with The Wayward Sailor . Captain Phil is a hardcore islander. He's sailed all over the Carribean, and recently bought some property on a small cay off the coast of St. John (he'll be one of six people living on that little island, sans electicity or plumbing). A yuppie family from Rochester, NY joined us for the trip. They had some cute little kids, so it wasn't all that bad. Capt. Phil took us to a remote reef for some awesome snorkeling. We saw a little turtle, and loads of amazing fish. It was cool because Capt. Phil could dive way down and point out cool stuff to us that we would normally miss.
Upon returning we did a bit of sightseeing, then stopped at a sandwich/smoothie truck for lunch. From there it was on to Hawksnest Bay for some beaching. Hawksnest is a solid beach - nice looking, with enough real estate to spread out. And the snorkeling was astonishingly good! There is a lot of reef action about 100 feet offshore. We actually had a few scarey moments here, as we ended up behind the reef and had a Dickens of a time finding the right path back to the sandy beach.

As evening drew near, we found ourselves again wandering around the streets of Cruz Bay. Out of nowhere I heard Jimmy Buffett's classic - "Volcano" blasting. It's hard to explain, but I suddenly found myself in a trance, inexorably drawn to the doorway of Duffy's Love Shack . Next thing we knew, we were seated at the bar buying overpriced tee-shirts and ordering exotic drinks like "Lime in Dee Coconut" (which Maria later called the best thing she has ever tasted), and "The Wacky Pineapple". But the coup de grace came when Maria boldly ordered "The Shark Tank". Keep in mind that this is an emerald-colored rum-based beverage designed for 5-6 people to drink, not 2. As we snacked on hors d'oevres, suddenly Jimmy Buffett stopped. The restaurant drew silent. Eery smoke billowed out of the corners of the room. The JAWS theme started playing urgently - "dun-DUN-dun-DUN-dun-DUN!!!!"... from somewhere a woman's voice screamed "SHARK!" Yes, they do this every time the Shark Tank drink is ordered. It came out in a big fish tank - complete with two straws, plastic skeletons floating around, and a big goofy rubber killer shark stuck in the middle. Here's a picture if you don't believe me. And the best part is that there is a shot of some sort inside the shark's gullet. The waistaff won't let you leave until some brave soul sucks face with the shark and does the shot. Dancing followed, and the rest is kind of foggy... I remember at one point enlisting the help of our waitress to help put a dent in the Shark Tank drink, and she was more than happy to oblige.

DAY 7: Thursday, 1/9
A groggy breakfast at Chilly Willy's in Cruz Bay - really good pancakes and coffee! Add it to your list of places to eat. Bring the kids if you got 'em - Willy's hands out coloring books and stuff.
Then we checked out the shops at the Lumberyard. There was a cool art gallery, but we resisted the urge to buy anything. I stopped by BesTech, one of the few computer places on the island (hey it couldn't hurt to see if they needed help). Walking back through town Maria decided to take a spill right there in the middle of everthing. Those $6 flip-flops just don't offer much in the way of traction, and down she went on a patch of sand! A nearby islander yelled "Watch out!" It was good for at least 45 minutes of laughter.
This was definitely my favorite day on the island. We jumped in the Jeep and headed back to Waterlemon Bay, and stuff really got cool. Last time here we kinda skimped on the snorkeling; we didn't leave the bay area. To really get the full experience, one must snorkel all the way out to Waterlemon Cay, a few hundred feet offshore. It's well worth it. This is where we saw the amazing stuff: giant starfish were strewn across the bottom. Full-size conch shells - the kind they sell in the shops - were everywhere. Thick schools of the most colorful fish anywhere swam fearlessly close to us. Sinister sea-urchins dared us to come closer. Stingrays fluttered their creepy fins along the bottom, trying to make themselves scarce.
We veered off to the right of the cay, snorkeling about 100 feet from shore. And that's when Maria spotted two gorgeous sea-turtles feeding on the bottom. Having found a workaround for my Sinus Squeeze problem (descend very slowly, keep equalizing the ears and blow through the nose into the mask, pressing it away from the face), I was able to get down next to them along the bottom. They were hanging out in about 12 or 13 feet of water, so it was pretty easy to join them. Interestingly, they didn't seem to mind our presence. We followed them for a while, watching them calmly chomp the grass on the bottom. Occassionally they would glide to the surface for a gulp of air and a look around. Feeling a bit bold, I dove down and slid my hand across the larger turtle's magnificent carapace. If there are any creatures in the ocean -- or anywhere else for that matter -- that are more wonderful, majestic, graceful and peaceful than these critters... I'd like to see them.
Gradually losing sight of the turtles, another critter caught our attention - the biggest barracuda I've ever seen. He was at LEAST three and a half feet long. Lurking along the bottom, his toothy maw opened and closed as if to say "What are you lookin' at?". We thought it best not to annoy this fella, so we steered in the opposite direction. We were absolutely KICKING ourselves for not having spent the $22 for that throw-away underwater camera we saw in town earlier in the week (the shots of the turtle and 'cuda I found online - we didn't take those, unfortunately).

At about this point Maria got a foot-cramp - hmmmm...... We clambered ashore on the cay. There's a small sandy area big enough to stretch out and rest. The rest of the cay is overgrown with cacti and is pretty much impassable.
We did a full lap around the cay before heading back toward the shore. Around the backside of the cay there is some unbelievable coral to be found. Hands-down Waterlemon Cay is one of the best snorkeling spots on St. John.
We returned to the beach to find that a pack of mongoose dem (we learned that this is the plural way to say mongoose - it's not "mongeese, or mongooses, or even polygoose" as previously thought) had raided our bags and eaten our fruit while we were off making merry with the turtles!! Little $#*$% rodents.
On the way back we stopped by Jack Warner's house and had a quick look around. It wan't easy resisting the temptation to unpack our stuff and spend a few weeks. It's really a great cottage, situated overlooking Coral Bay.
We dined that afternoon at Shipwreck Landing, another outdoor bar and grill that served a damn-good marlin sandwich. Very popular place among the locals.
It was then back to Cinnamon Bay, where the surf had picked up quite a bit. Five or six surfers could be seen offshore hangin' ten. Also that night, an older couple renewed their wedding vows right there on the beach! Very romantic.

As our tastiest meal had come from Morgan's Mango, we thought out last dinner of the vacation should be there. Again they did not disappoint. But be warned - when the menu says "Market Price," ask your server! My Surf and Turf set us back $36 !

DAY 8: Friday, 1/10
The dreaded day had arrived :(
I got up extra early to take in some of that residual rough surf. The waves down there seem to take it personally if you try to bodysurf them. You can almost hear them whispering: "How dare you?" as they pick you up and SLAP you down onto the sand.
After regaining the ability to walk upright, I dried off and drove to Cruz Bay to return the Jeep. Maria took on the arduous task of throwing our stuff back into the bags. I grabbed a taxi back to Cinnamon Bay, and we spent our last hour clinging to that beach. If it were possible to freeze time, that would have been the time to do it. But before long we found ourselves first back on the Charlotte Amelie ferry, then at the butt-end of an impossibly long US Airways line in St. Thomas. Our flight was to frigid Philadelphia, where we arrived at night still wearing sandals and tee-shirts. We crashed at the Marriott, and then took a puddle-jumper to LGA the next morning (again, the US Air check-in line spanned sixteen miles). The perfect ending came when my bag - the one containing mother's snorkel gear and our wet stinky clothes - somehow got lost. Welcome back to reality! It was then - tanned but shivering -- that we felt Jimmy Buffett coming on again, stronger than ever:

Oh I know (I know)
I should be leaving this climate
I got a verse but can't rhyme it
I gotta go where it's warm

Boat drinks
Waitress I need two more boat drinks
Then I'm headin' south 'fore my dream shrinks

I gotta go where it's warm (I gotta go where it's warm)
I gotta go where it's warm (I gotta go where it's warm)
I gotta go where it's warm!
I gotta go where there ain't any snow
Where there ain't any blow
'Cause my fin sinks so low
I gotta go where it's warm

-- Boat Drinks


FIN


Link to our St. John Photo Page